Damnation
by Angel1876
Summary: In the end, it was all her fault, wasn't it?


"Come on, don't look at me like that. It's fine. I'm fine."

Abigail smiled a small and tired smile, her eyes drooping even as she moved to sit up. The effort it took to do so made Wendy want to cry, though she held it in. She held it in with every ounce of strength and force of will she had, blinking as if she could dispel the pressure by doing so. She shook her head, drew in a shaky breath, and forced herself to step toward to the bed.

It wasn't any better close up. Abigail had lost even more weight, her skin sickly pale hanging loosely off her tiny frame. Wendy was afraid to touch her, least she tear that skin like paper, or inadvertently snap a bone with a hold that was too strong.

"Sorry..." She murmured, not letting herself look away. "Um...how are...how has it been? Have they been taking care of you?"

Her twin laughed, as much as she could. "You can ask me how I'm doing. Which is really well, actually. It doesn't hurt as much as it looks like it should. I've mostly been sleeping. The stuff they've got me on, can't really feel much of anything with it. As for the doctors, they're nice enough. They're doing what they can to keep me comfortable." She reached out, toward her, fingers trembling in the air. "Come on, sit down. I've missed you."

Wendy bit her lip and stepped a little closer, then a little more, enough that Abigail could reach for her arm and tug her the rest of the way in. Try as she might to relax and sit naturally, her nerves wouldn't let her. Her back locked up, her shoulders were stiff, her breath caught.

 _Please, God, don't let me hurt her._

The prayer repeated, over and over, a desperate mantra within her head, so focused on those words that she almost didn't feel her sister running her nails up and down her arm in an effort to soothe.

 _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..._

 _Whatever I did I'm sorry so please don't let me hurt her._

"Wendy." Her voice cut into her thoughts, breaking through the panic that was starting to take hold. "Are you okay?"

"Yes!" Too quick. She shook her head and pulled on a grin, laughing, albeit without humor. "Yes, I'm okay. I missed you, too."

"How've you been?" Abigail asked, unconvinced. Wendy cursed herself for making her worry.

"I've been good. John and Maria have been leaving me alone, for the most part. I think maybe they're just giving me space so I can past the end of year tests at school."

"It's that time already? Wow."

"Yeah. Even got a talk about it. Long story short, not passing them isn't an option."

"I figured. Those two were never the understanding type. Study hard. I believe in you."

"Thanks. I'll try. I...um..." She fidgeted, running her free hand over one of her pigtails. "I couldn't bring the guitar this time. One of the strings broke, and it's gonna be a while before I can save up the money to get it replaced. Sorry. I know you were looking forward to the new song."

The smile her sister gave didn't falter once. "Don't worry about it. I'm just happy to see you."

"Heh...I'm happy to see you, too, Abby."

Abigail lifted her other arm, an invitation for a hug. She noticed when Wendy hesitated. "I'm not going to break, silly.

Wendy lowered herself as carefully as she could, hugging her sister with the touch of a feather. She felt the others' arms wrap around her in return, grip loose for a different reason. A hand went up to brush absently just below the hairline at the back of her neck.

 _God, help her. Save her. Don't let her die._

 _She didn't do anything wrong._

 _Have mercy._

"It's going to be okay, Wendy. Everything's going to be fine. You know we'll see each other again, right?"

"Y...yes, yes of course." Despite herself, the tears poured over, wetting the hospital gown Abigail wore. She shuddered, a sob forcing its' way out. "W...we'll see each other, and...and you'll...you'll be healthy, and we can...can play again, like we used to..."

Lies. All lies.

There was no doubt in her mind that her sister would make it to heaven.

Wendy, though. Wendy didn't deserve heaven. She wasn't good enough. If she was good enough, her prayers would have been answered by then. Abigail wouldn't have to suffer in the hospital because she wouldn't have cancer.

If she was good enough, they wouldn't be in a foster home, because their parents would still be there.

All good people had their prayers answered. Obviously, for whatever reason...Wendy wasn't a good person. And for the life of her, she couldn't figure out why.

What sin had she committed that was so terrible, this was the outcome? She wasn't the only one being punished. Her entire family was falling through the cracks in front of her, and no matter how hard she begged for forgiveness, she still lost everyone.

"Yes." Abigail hummed quietly, drawing her hand downward, trailing over her siblings spine, counting each individual vertebra. "We'll be together forever. We'll be happy. Hang on to that for me, okay? It's bad now, but in the end, we'll have an eternity together. All of this will feel like a bad dream. Be strong. You can do this. You can do anything through faith."

Except save the only person she had left to care about.

 _Please._

She begged and she cried and she pleaded, clinging to her sister as hard as she dared.

 _Please don't let her die, please don't let her die._

"O-okay. I-I can...I...I can."

"Good. Good...I'm proud of you."

 _Take me, not her, don't take her away, she doesn't deserve this please I can't do this I can't I can't I can't I can't-_

"I...I l-love you, Abby."

"I love you too, Wendy."

 _I can't live without her._


End file.
